Funny things dog walkers say

infographic of men and women walking dogs on leads

Hi and welcome to my very first blog post - I’ve kept it lighthearted. We need something to smile about at the moment.

I came across an article in the New York Times about Dr. Alexandra Horowitz (a cognitive scientist who studies dogs) who’d become fascinated about the things owners say to their dogs after she overheard a woman who was walking her two and one had just done a wee “You’re going first: excellente! Awesome job!” . This subsequently led to her keeping a diary of other overheard snippets while she was out and about, some of which I have here. Enjoy.

“You’re so cute and so smart. And worth money! I could marry you.”
(Woman to her Goldendoodle)

“You can sit all you want when we’re home.”
(Woman to dog not going anywhere)

“You’ve got a lot to learn! A lot to learn!”
(Woman to her dachshund puppy on the sidewalk)

“Good stop! I really liked that halt, guys.”
(Dog walker to her five charges, upon navigating a street corner)

“C’mon, you made it the whole way. One more step!”
(Man on top step to puppy sprawled on second-to-last step)

“I know you got excited when you saw another puppy … but I need my arm to remain in the socket.”
(Woman to happily leash-tugging retriever)

“You’re embarrassing yourself!”
(Woman to shy dog avoiding a friendly dog’s advances)

“Somebody has a bagel, and it’s not you. And it’s not gonna be you with that kind of behavior.”
(Man to rapacious hound)

“Be nice! When you get tired, you get nasty.”
(Man to rambunctiously playing dog)

“You guys are going to have to get coordinated.”
(Woman to two dogs pulling in different directions)

“I see you doing weird stuff. Cut it out.”
(Woman to one of her four small dogs)

“What, are you reinventing the poo?”
(Woman to long-pooing dog)

“Hey! Stop it! (Whispers): We talked about this yesterday.”
(Man to foraging dog)